Cycling in a skirt

One life, some bicycles. A million possibilities, zero clue!


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So Rock n Roll: Riding the Brecon Gap

The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand:
They wept like anything to see such quantities of sand:
“If this were only cleared away”, they said, “it would be grand!”  
                               Lewis Carroll (The Walrus and the Carpenter)

 
These are the lines that are running through my head as I clatter downhill at an alarming rate, bouncing over boulders, through rock gardens, teeth chattering, limbs shaken from their sockets. In my version however the word  ‘sand’ is replaced with the word ‘rocks’. Ok, I know it doesn’t rhyme but you get the picture.

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Sorry I’m a bit late

Erm, it appears to have been a while since the last post, completely unintentional, just time disappearing into a big vortex of bike, work, eat, sleep…..ok, and having fun..

I promise I won’t mention it if you don’t, let’s just sweep this little hiatus under the carpet and roll forward.

It has been a busy year though and cycling adventures have included mountain bike packing in Argentina and the UK; some extreme downhill mountain biking in the French Alps; 3 gruelling days of the Tour of Wessex road-sportive, 220 miles, 10,500 feet of climbing, many, many bananas and a return to an old favourite, Lanzarote. All in a skirt of course.

Thanks for sticking with me, we’ve definitely quite a lot of biking to catch up on, how about you put the kettle of for a cuppa and we can start with this………


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The Crap Bike Christmas Carol

I’m not the only one reflecting on the year at the moment, it seems my bicycles also appear to be taking stock of the last 12 months. This is taking the form of something mechanical now going wrong on pretty much every ride and on every bike. Some things are small, some are more fundamental. I think the bikes are all trying to tell me that a bit of tender, loving care is in order before the New Year. So, as I work my way through the patience of some friendly mechanics and my bank balance, let me bring to you the following (literal) mechanical breakdown shamelessly set to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. *Please allow liberties with wording, meter and bike parts.

The Crap Bike Christmas Carol

On the first day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me, from a chain that was very dirty.

On the second day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the third day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the fourth day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the fifth day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from 5 worn chain-rings, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the sixth day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 6 nipples seizing, 5 old chain-rings, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the seventh day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 7 cotters cracking, 6 nipples seizing, 5 old chain-rings, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the eighth day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 8 bearings binding, 7 cotters cracking, 6 nipples seizing, 5 old chain-rings, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the ninth day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 9 wingnuts warping, 8 bearings binding, 7 cotters cracking, 6 nipples seizing, 5 old chain-rings, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the tenth day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 10 gears a grinding, 9 wingnuts warping, 8 bearings binding, 7 cotters cracking, 6 nipples seizing, 5 old chain-rings, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me from, 11 lock-rings locking, 10 gears a grinding, 9 wingnuts warping, 8 bearings binding, 7 cotters cracking, 6 nipples seizing, 5 old chain-rings, 4 groaning gussets, 3 snapped spokes, 2 buckled wheels and a chain that was very dirty.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my bicycle broke on me. So I scrapped it and just bought a new one!

Merry Christmas one and all.

 

 

 

 

 


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The Tale of a One-handed Wannado

If you’re sitting comfortably then I’ll begin.

There was once a girl of indeterminate (but definitely not excessive) years who loved bicycles so much that not a day would go past without some time spent riding her shiny, metallic steeds. Continue reading